The Importance of Hospitality in Simple Church - Part 1

I can't emphasize enough the importance of hospitality as an element of simple church life.  If you have come from traditional church paradigms, your used to thinking of "the gift of hospitality" as referring to those women who laid out the coffee and donuts after a service, or put together a meal after a funeral.  Possibly, your experience might have included "home groups" that met for fellowship and possibly a Bible study where the host/hostess provided some snacks and drinks using her "gift of hospitality" on you.  That is NOT what I'm talking about!  That's a western, and completely water-downed version of what Biblical hospitality really is.  The Scriptures are clear that hospitality is far more than what we usually think it is, and it's not just the gift of a few women.  In fact, it has as much to do with men as with women - but that's another blog post for the future......

The real practice of hospitality makes people feel they belong. It makes people feel special, important, and and warmly welcomed into your life - not just your home!
 It's receiving strangers like they are family, and communicating through your words and actions that they are well worth your time and effort.

One time, on one of my trips to Brazil,  we stopped at a house to inquire if anyone wanted prayer in that home.  The residents were unfamiliar to us, but warmly welcomed us inside and quickly found us some chairs from a back room to sit upon. I gazed around at the simple surroundings.  This household was poor, and they had little beyond the very basics of life.  I expected them to tell us what we could pray and minister to them in, but that didn't seem to be their priority.  Instead, they were going to minister to us! Soon we had drinks in our hand, and we were informed that we were to stay for a meal. Meal?  Well, okay.   I thought the meal would be some leftovers that would be warmed up and served to us within a short time.  In fact, the host sent his older children to go a purchase some food and more drinks, and then proceeded to entertain us while his wife cooked us a full meal from scratch!  We spent an entire afternoon in the home, being treated like passing royalty, probably consuming the family's food budget for the month, with the meal they provided for us! 

I experienced the Biblical practice of hospitality that day, and it was more powerful than any sermon or teaching I'd had in years!  I felt loved, honored, valued, welcomed, and a part of their family.  Wow!  If we could get this practice operating and maturing in the Body of Christ - we would be powerful in communicating Christ to each other and the world.

In our western culture we have lost most of the centrality of hospitality to normal life. We have minimized it into cookies and coffee. In the Middle East, and certainly during the times of the Old and New Testament, hospitality was a central cultural norm of behavior and it was frequently illustrated and exhorted. For something to be talked about as much as it is in the Bible, it must be very important, powerful and a practice that we should be paying attention to.

 Let's look at a few Scriptural examples where love and hospitality are placed together:

• "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;  not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;  rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,  contributing to the needs of the saints,  practicing hospitality."  Romans 12: 10-13 (NASB)

• " Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint.  As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." 1 Peter 4:8-10 (NASB)

• "Let brotherly love continue. Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in doing so, some have entertained angels without knowing it."  Hebrews 13:1-2 (NASB)

 
  Paul cites exercising hospitality as an important quality and practice for an elder in the church -

• "an overseer/elder must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to much wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable...." 1 Titus 1:7-8 (NASB)

  In the Old Testament God firmly establishes the importance of hospitality with many examples, here are just a couple:

• Abraham welcoming the visiting strangers with a wonderful dinner
• The Shunamite woman giving Elisha his own room and provided for him out of her poverty
•  Lot offering hospitality to the visiting angels sent to Sodom 
• Jethro towards Moses 

Hospitality was regarded by most nations of the ancient world as one of the chief virtues. The relationship between host and guest was sacred. (BTW -This is still true today in most Middle Eastern, South American, Native American and Asian cultures.) Our western emphasis on individuality and independence has drastically diminished our understanding and practice of this great and powerful aspect of life together.

When Jesus will demonstrate His hospitality in heaven one day, we will get the royal treatment and a full realization of the importance and powerful blessing of hospitality.  A 'welcome home' banquet hosted by The Son and The Father Themselves, giving us their hospitality in the true way it was designed  Why?  Simply because He loves us.  He wants to show us our value and worth to Him on that day.  Can you imagine it?  We will actually be served by the King Himself - our Host!  I don't know about you, but that simply blows my mind! 

In the meantime, maybe we should be exercising and finding opportunities to grow in this wonderful expression of powerful communication.

In the next blog post, I'll give some ideas and examples of hospitality practiced within the Body of Christ, and with those who don't know Jesus yet just to spur you on "towards love and good deeds"!

Missional vs Tradtional

Recently, Tom and I were walking through a community that we had visited many times early in our marriage. We even lived in this community for a summer over 24 years ago.  I had not been back since 1990, and Tom neither, but for a few days last January.  I was surprised at those things which remained the same over the years, and yet seeing that these years had also brought about many changes. One of which was that there were no more outhouses behind each house!  Plumbing and sewers had finally eliminated their necessity.

 The wind was blowing the dust of the street into our faces and the clouds were threatening rain. It was cold for May, even this far north. We had the endless series of dogs guarding their section of the street, running up to our heels sniffing to determine if we were friend or foe, and also the occasional "Hey Tom" or "Katie!" from some window or doorway, causing us to wave back and take a few minutes for a visit as we'd make our way over to their home.  We walked into many homes during our long weekend there.

Our purpose in our walk was not to check out the new changes, but rather to make ourselves available to people and God for encounters that would hopefully lead to prayer, encouragement, affirmation, healing, counsel, correction and sweet fellowship between old and new friends.  We had wonderful visits!  We saw the Spirit of God among us working to strengthen those who belong to Him, and gently "woo" those who had not yet joined the family of God. We saw Him heal wounds and encourage hearts. We saw Him draw people to Himself. We spent most of our days like this - seeking out opportunities, listening and watching for what God wanted to do.

God is a seeking God - and is always at work (Jesus words), so those of us who follow Him must be doing the same.  That is being missional.  It's not anything else - and trendy as the word may be these days, it is simply getting OUT THERE and letting God use you to touch people with His Presence.

That's missional, simple and organic.

In the home we stayed in, there was another visitor. This man had also been invited up by our hosts as they were exploring what simple, organic and missional life and fellowship looks like, and had invited us up to share on it.  They wanted this man's input about what we were sharing.  He was familiar with the community, having come up previously a number of times to do the classic "outreach meetings".  These are meetings with the usual mission protocol -i.e. billed with a speaker who is known for: healing, teaching, signs and wonders, deliverance, etc. etc.  The message is "come and encounter Jesus at this meeting!" (Now, I'm not saying these mission venues are wrong or bad.  I have done them, and will likely will do these style meetings again at some point if that is what God directs.)  My point is not to trash these venues - but rather challenge the paradigm a bit.  

The paradigm of sitting in one place waiting for people to come to you.

This man sat in the house for 5 days, with the exception of a of couple long fishing trips, mostly talking with the couple who were hosting, their kids, Tom and I, and a couple of people who came by one day for a barbecue.  His paradigm was, "I'm here, come to me".  Few did.
In contrast, Tom and I had the paradigm of, "We're here, and we're coming to you!".

Traditional verses missional.

Now, please hear my heart.  I'm not trying to trash this man, his ministry in serving God for many years, nor any fruit that may have come from it.  But the contrast of his sitting in the house day after day waiting for some opportunity to come to him, and Tom and I walking out of the house many times during a given day to go and SEEK those opportunities is the point of this blog post today.

So much is being said about "missional" these days which is convoluting the real meaning.  Let's get it straight - missional means "get out there!"

See what God is doing and join Him in His mission "to reach those who are lost", bringing the Presence of "Christ who lives in you to will and work according to His good pleasure", and to "strengthen those who are struggling".

That's simple, it's organic and completly missional.

My Last Plug on Coaching

Most people have heard of Michael Jordan.  Even if they know nothing about the game of basketball, it is likely that they would know that he was one of the best players to ever play the sport. Was it just his natural ability that propelled him into this position? Did he innately have everything he needed to become one of the world's best athletes, or did he achieve his his potential partly because of something else?

 Basketball experts have said that Michael Jordan, as naturally talented and gifted as he was, didn't reach his potential until he was coached by Phil Jackson.

What was it about coaching that did this? 

• Coaching helps people focus on what they are uniquely designed to be. 

• Coaches are helpful change experts who push you to think, act and become what God has already put within you. 

• Coaching affirms our maturing and discovery process.

• Coaching affirms failures as great learning moments. 

• Coaching is listening and asking good questions.                                                   

Can these things happen outside of an "official" coaching relationship?  Absolutely, and it does every day! In bits and pieces throughout our lives, we hopefully have people and experiences that resemble the above list.  This is not some new phenomena, or limited to those of us coaching as a profession and ministry. Some aspects of what I listed happen frequently in many different contexts of fellowship and our relationships.

 The difference is that the coaching I'm talking about is intentional and skilled. 

It doesn't just happen here and there, at random, or on occasion. It is the purpose of the relationship.  Just like Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson - they were partners with a specific purpose, and that was to see just how good Michael could become at the game of basketball.

A good coach's gifts and abilities are both given AND honed. Coaching is a skill that is developed and improved with use and time.  It's more than the gift of encouragement.  In fact, I think many times that we need challenge more than encouragement.  Change often doesn't feel so good, but necessary for growth. 

My husband is my greatest encourager, who loves and supports me in multiple ways - but he is not so good at asking me questions that provoke my thinking.  Although I'm sure there are things he would like to change about me or challenge me on - he really doesn't. He is awesome, and he is a wonderful encourager - but he is not a coach.

My friend and coach John White, is great at challenging my thinking and drawing things out of me with great questions - but I'm not always "feeling the love"of encouragment in our difficult conversations.

 One is not a coach, but a great encourager.  The other a great coach, but not always encouraging.

I need both.

 I'm grateful for both of these men in my life, using their gifts, skills and abilities to help me grow and mature in Christ.  Encourager and coach.  If you'd like to try coaching with me, you can begin that journey here http://www.site.house2house.com/coaching-overview.  After this post, I'm back to writing about all things simple, organic and missional, and maybe a few other interesting topics on this wonderful journey in Christ.


"Build up, build up, remove every obstacle out of the way of my people," Isaiah 57:14

"A Whole Lot of Shaking Going On"

In 1957 a song came out by the artist Jerry Lee Lewis entitled, A Whole Lotta Shakin Going On,  and although it's related to dancing, in many ways it was a prophetic song about an era that was just beginning in the United States.  An era that would experience the shaking of the current status quo within the culture and society where civil rights, new freedoms and old paradigms were being confronted. 

I think we are in a similar time in the Church right now where paradigms, structures, and value systems that have produced little or no fruit are being shaken and pruned. That means that we as individuals are being shaken and pruned also, since we make up the Church.  This experience is not easy for anyone, and being shaken can be very disorienting and even frightening.  However, we are told in the Scriptures that God will shake things that need to be shaken to accomplish His plans and purposes in us.  In Hebrews 12:27 it says, referring to this shaking that God would, "once more (do the) removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain." We have certainly allowed many"created" things into our paradigms and practice of church, and this is being shaken.  Of course this is uncomfortable, disorienting, and even frightening - but it is necessary if we are to have more of the Presence of Jesus in our lives and in our expression of fellowship and mission. Most of us have cried out in recent years; "we want MORE of you Lord!" because in our hearts we innately know there is more intimacy, power and fruitfulness than we have thus far experienced - but we have obstacles, hindrances and dead areas  that keep this from happening. We need a shaking. A shaking that is achieving a purpose.  A shaking that is from God.

 The only way to MORE is through LESS. It is one of those spiritual dichotomies of a Kingdom not of this world.

 The only way to less is through pruning and shaking.  In John 15:2 Jesus speaks of this issue where he says, "Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away. And every one that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bring forth more fruit."

In gardening terms, the suckers are being removed.  A sucker is the term given to a stem which arises from the underground part of the plant, but is not part of the main plant. Or it can be stems which will never bear any fruit, but act as inhibitors to the the real stem of it getting all the nutrients it needs to bear MUCH fruit. This extra stem may even be more vigorous and dominating over the true stem stealing the nutrients that gardeners want to be available for the main plant and stems. Suckers are therefore removed as soon as they are seen by gardeners.

In the journey of simple, organic and missional life and expression of fellowship in Christ, you can expect everything that can be shaken, will be shaken, if it has become an created encumbrance that keeps you from a deeper intimacy with God, richer fellowship in our relationship with others, and a natural expression of bringing the realities of Christ to those who don't know Jesus. 

You can also expect to be pruned and have some of the suckers removed which have stolen from you the nutrients you need from God that will cause you to bear much fruit. The Bible tells us that it is His will that we bear much fruit and prove to be His disciples. John 15 :8

When I am coaching someone in simple, organic and missional life,  we spend much of our time in understanding the dynamics of being shaken and pruned, and coaching can be a great asset for you in this time because it helps you identify what is going on, offers encouragement to submit to God in the process, and helps you to discover how this shaking and pruning achieves good fruit. 

So as a coach in simple, organic and missional life and church, I'll use the words of Jerry Lee Lewis in his 1957 song......."shake baby shake"!!!!

Coaching To Ignite Dreams and Passions

A few years ago I was working with refugee populations as a support person to help them learn the English language, find employment, navigate our system of banking, schools, insurance, and all the things we take for granted in our everyday lives.  For those who are new to our country, these things are overwhelming and they need some help in figuring them out.

One of the families I worked and developed a close relationship with was from Uzbekistan, where they had lived under Soviet rule and communism for all of their lives.  As Christians, they had encountered persecution and therefore they were granted refugee status to immigrate to the United States.  I had been working with them for a few months and our English conversations had advanced to the level where we could begin to discuss their future aspirations and job possibilities.  You know the type of conversation because we have it with children all the time.

 It goes something like this; "so, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Implicit in the question is the assumption that each person has a uniqueness about them and a special destiny, purpose, and passion that will be propelled by their own intrinsic motivation - as I wrote about in the previous blog post.

 We get familiar and common responses from children when asked this question like, "a doctor", "a fireman", "a basketball player in the NBA", "a horse trainer" (okay, that's not usual, but that one was mine...).

So, here I am one evening with the Uzbek family all sitting around their dining room table, where I asked the question, "okay, now that you've acquired some English and can move forward, what do you want to do?  Go to college?  Work as a ........?"(as I listed off a few possibilities.) I expected to hear a few good possibilities that indicated their interests, passions and goals for the future.

The response I got back from the six of them was only a blank stare.  A complete poker face.

Well, I did what anyone would do thinking they didn't understand my question, so I repeated myself a few times, rearranging the question thinking that would illicit a response.  Very quickly it became apparent to me that they didn't have a clue how to answer my question.  In that moment I had an epiphany and realized they didn't answer because they had lived in a communist system that assigned them jobs with no interest whatsoever in what they wanted. 
Why have dreams and passions if they could never be sought out and realized?  In "the system" you did what they told you that you could, or couldn't do.  The decision was made for them.  Their uniqueness was of no consequence.  They were there to serve the system.

In that moment of my realization, the Lord spoke to me and said, "they are like my people (the Body of Christ).  They also don't know the dreams and passions within them anymore either, because they too have been in a system that didn't encourage having them, and they too have been told what they can and can't do."

This needs to change my friends.  For us in the Body of Christ, we each need to be living and moving in our unique design that God has purposed in us.  Everything in creation is about a unique and integrated contribution that ultimately points to the Creator, the Author, the Perfector.  It is His Way.

In encouraging people over the years in the simple, organic and missional life and expression in Christ, this is a key element to be coached.  As a parent, I have seen the unique make-up of each of my children, and it is one of the roles of a parent to encourage and strengthen the gifts, talents, abilities and passions of our children so they can walk in their unique and special design.  This glorifies Christ.  This also relates to the scripture verse in Ephesians 4 :16, "from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love."
 And in 1 Corinthians 12, we see Paul make a number of points regarding the need and validity of "each part" of the Body having significant contributions to the whole Body. Even those parts we would deem "unseemly".

We need each person living in their strategic place, moving in their unique purpose in Christ for us to be a healthy and functioning Body.

This is not a time to sit on the sidelines.   Get out there and play your part in the purposes of Christ for you to be His Witness, His Ambassador, and His Bride. If you don't know what that is, check into receiving some coaching from someone who will help you unlock what God has put inside you.
 Coaching is a way to encourage the dreams and passions that have lain dormant or under the pile of years of abandonment and neglect.  Coaching helps to ignite each person to take his part in the Body of Christ.

Ready, set, ignition!

Coaching Intrinsic Motivation

One of the ways our family lives missionally, is by having students from other countries live with us while they attend college.  They learn U.S. culture in our home which is a safe place where they can ask questions, make mistakes, practice their English, and see and experience how Christians live and relate to each other and the world around them.  This has worked out great for all of us - until this semester.  The two girls who came to live with us lasted just 6 weeks, and then they left because according them, "the environment was not good".  They went back to their previous environment.

Many jump into the adventure of simple, organic and missional church and then end up leaving because the experience was not what they expected.  They return to old environments that feel safe, require less, are more familiar, and fit their expectations. Not everyone likes to live in a simple, organic, and missional way once they find out what the environment requires of them.  It requires personal responsibility for their own intimate relationship with God, and then with others both Christian and not.  It requires initiative.  It forces a deeper level of accountability, and a participatory expectation that many are surprised by, and don't have the motivation to pursue.

People are their own best motivators. 

Psychologists have determined there are two different ways people are motivated; intrinsic and extrinsic.

Intrinsic motivation occurs when someone is driven by an interest or enjoyment of something that exists from within the person.  For example, for someone who loves to read, reading many books in a given year is pleasurable, fulfilling and is not thought of as a chore, but rather enjoyable.

Extrinsic motivation occurs when someone or something from the outside of the person initiates and sustains the motivation.  Some examples of this are grades, fulfilling the wishes of others, abiding by the law, working for tips as a waiter, etc.

As someone who has spent hours and hours coaching people in the simple, organic and missional journey, I can tell you that it is a waste of time, if they don't have intrinsic motivation. 

Many people initially think they want this paradigm. Then, they begin to understand that the environment is different.  Much like our past students who left our home because they determined that "the environment was not good." Many find the realities of living simple, organic and missional are different than what they expected.  They lost, or never really had, the intrinsic motivation for this paradigm. 

A benefit of good coaching is that it asks the right questions.  It begins to unlock within you, just what is "the environment" your looking for, because that will be the only thing that will motivate you to find and live it.  Good coaching taps into your intrinsic motivation and encourages what God is doing within you.

"Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we can be." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am committed to the belief that God has unique and fulfilling plans for our lives that have been created to fit each of us perfectly. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope."

It is a wonderful comfort knowing that the great designer and creator, has designed and created you and me, for a plan that He wants us to walk in.  Not only that, but also the fact that He is actively involved, and enjoys the process!
In Philippians 2:13 it says, "For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."  The 'adventure of adventures' awaits those of us who say, "Yes, Lord, Thy Will be done on earth as it is in heaven", Matthew 6:10.

Yup, this is exciting and great, but it is not always easy. Sometimes we wish we had some help.

The reality of this adventure is like all journeys - it has both mountain tops and valleys.  Mountain tops are great, and we'd love to stay there as long as possible. But, however much we wish it were different, it is in the valleys and deserts where we are taught the deep lessons, where our character is forged, and our faith is grown and refined.  It is in these places where we are open to seeing and understanding things that the mountains keep from us. These are also the places where we find ourselves disoriented, stuck, discouraged, or simply unsure of the next step.

Then what do we do?

One thing I love and value is serving on the board for a ministry called House2House www.house2house.org.  I just returned from our board meeting in Texas, excited about a new direction that the ministry is taking to strengthen those who are on the journey of simple, organic and missional church expressions.  Up to this point,  House2House has done a great job in resourcing those interested in this movement through videos, books, training manuals, a resource website, and yearly conferences that bring opportunities to hear some of the pioneers of the movement, and gain encouragement from the fellowship of others on a similar journey.  However good and helpful all these things are, House2House desires to move along with God on its own journey in our particular role to support and encourage the simple, organic and missional movement in a more relational manner.

The new focus and direction of House2House will still include some of the above resources, but will now also include coming alongside individuals, groups, churches, denominations and those who have already been participating in simple church (but who may need a boost), and do it through relational coaching.

 In the next few blog posts here at Backseat Driver, I will be writing about what coaching is, the value of it to those of you in simple, organic and missional church, and how to take advantage of this new resource at House2House.

We all want to be inspired to be all that we can be.  To overcome the obstacles that loom before us, and eagerly move forward in the unique and wonderful plans that God has for us. Sometimes, all we need is someone to come alongside us, encouraging, challenging, and helping us discover what God has put inside us "for such a time as this".  Coaching can be a significant part of that process, and it may be something you would personally find beneficial, as you navigate through your own adventure.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Don't go where the path may lead, go instead to where there is no path and leave a trail."